How I Ended Up with a Million-Dollar Disco Ball… on Water 💡🚤

I was gonna sail to the Bahamas… but I realized cute first mates don’t just fall outta coconut trees!

Moral of the story? If you want to sail the world, find someone who thinks a rocking boat is better than a rocking chair.” 😎⚓️

Two first mates, one clueless captain… who’s getting tossed overboard first? ⚓😂 #HelpMePick

Found a unicorn once. She married me. Then she escaped… to heaven. Now I’m stuck looking for another. Spoiler: They don’t make ‘em anymore. 🦄💔😅

…Some Nearly Sank Me, the Other Almost Fried Me—Guess Which One Hurt More?” ⚡️💔

My Brain is Fried, My Body is Wired, and My Meds Cost More Than Ohana

Sipping coffee on Ohana w/ a big shit-eating grin, upgrading her, and losing patience for finding a super cute and worthy crew member.

Captain Dave lost at sea? —spiritually, mathematically, and mentally.

Sailing mishaps, boat upgrades, and one very personal question—yeah, it gets weird. 

The Only Thing More Expensive Than A Boat? …A Women Who’d Rather Be on Land !!!

Trifecta of “Bombshells” I’m self-conscious about when meeting women.

Captain of the Board: Not Just Another Old Man Yelling at Boats “THAT’S A NO WAKE ZONE!”