Unicorns, Normal Single Women, and Other Things That Don’t Exist 🦄🙃
In Search of a Unicorn (Or At Least a First Mate Who Won’t Mutiny)
Ahoy, friends! Gather 'round for another episode of "Capt. Dave Tries to Figure Out His Life While Avoiding Total Chaos." This week’s edition is brought to you by “Old Lisa”, who continues to be my unofficial life coach, spiritual guru, and occasional reality-check provider.
Her latest wisdom drop? “Self-discipline is the highest form of self-love, and that is God’s command to us—to love ourselves and others.” Which I think is a fancy way of saying: Get your act together, Dave, and stop getting distracted by shiny objects (or, in my case, beautiful, confusing women).
The Unicorn Problem
Finding a real partner again… wow. Talk about an impossible quest. It’s like looking for a unicorn—except instead of a magical, mythical creature, I’m hoping for a smart, adventurous, emotionally available woman who actually wants to integrate into my floating, saltwater-filled life, and I am proud to be with. No big deal, right?
I think back to Donna—how we met, how we built our lives together through every storm and sunshine moment. Losing her was like losing part of myself. We had the kind of partnership where no matter what life threw at us—career chaos, ectopic pregnancies, financial struggles—we always had each other’s backs. And the thing is, she knew how rare that was. She used to tell me, “Dave, you don’t know how good you have it. I am so chill compared to most women.”
Oh, how right she was. Donna, if you can hear me, I totally get it now.
Now? I’m navigating a dating world where everyone is divorced, separated women are saying they are widowed, trust is a rare currency, and deep emotional bonds seem harder to build. I get it—many marriages weren’t that close to begin with, and now we’re all a little battle-scarred. But still, I keep wondering—do unicorns exist? And if they do, do they like boats?
The Integration Dilemma
In past relationships, I’ve always been the one integrating into their lives. Whether that meant helping out on a farm and being a county boy, or adapting to a high-society socialite’s whirlwind of back to back cocktail, boat, and pier parties, or just rolling with whatever life threw at me, I made it work…it did not matter.
But now? Now it’s different. I’ve invested too much into Ohana and the cruising lifestyle. This time, I’m asking someone to integrate into my life and does not think I am self-centered because of that. That’s a whole new ballgame. I need someone who looks at a sailboat and thinks, “Wow, this is amazing!”—not “So… where’s the guest house?”
The Big News: A Destination in Sight!
But enough about my existential relationship crisis—let’s talk about actual plans! For once, I have a 30,000-foot idea of where I’ll be next winter. And it looks like… drumroll, please…
☀️ THE BAHAMAS! ☀️
One of the other Antares boats is heading that way, so I’ll have the option to buddy sail, which is great because:
I can have some company while exploring the islands for six months.
I get to anchor near someone who might actually laugh at my jokes.
If I get stuck, I won’t have to train a seagull to send out an SOS.
Of course, plans can change, but at least I have a rough outline. And if I have to sail solo? So be it.
Because at the end of the day, as “Old Lisa” wisely reminded me, self-discipline is about staying focused on what truly matters—staying healthy, staying young (at least in spirit), and living my dream, even if that means cruising alone.
But hey, if a unicorn happens to trot down the dock, ready to set sail into the sunset with me? You bet I’m handing her a (skimpy) life jacket.
Stay tuned, folks—this adventure is just getting started.
