YUKA? I Barely Know Ya! (But You’re Saving Me from Food Regret)
Since I have this little corner of the internet to babble about whatever madness is swirling around in my head—and since the weather is still cold and crappy—let’s talk about the coolest app out there: The YUKA App!
Okay, real talk. With my MOGAD, I’ve had to start watching what I eat. That means cutting out processed foods and all those weird chemicals nobody can pronounce. The idea is that digesting all that junk takes energy… energy that could be better used to help my nerve issues. Some people with my condition go all-in and cut out gluten and dairy entirely. I tried that hardcore approach but didn’t notice any difference. Lucky me, my body doesn’t seem to freak out over gluten or dairy.
So, I settled on a “reduced gluten” lifestyle—like, I’ll order a gluten-free pizza if it’s convenient, but I’m not driving across town just to get one. As for dairy, I barely drink milk anyway. Almond milk is my go-to for my daily “Green Smoothies” (mainly because it doesn’t need to be refrigerated until opened… hooray for lazy grocery habits).
But cheese? Oh, honey, I’m sorry, but there is no such thing as dairy-free cheese. It’s just… spread. And I’m not giving up my cheese. Nope. Not happening. As for ice cream, I don’t notice any difference, so if they have dairy-free, cool—I’ll take it. If not, I’m not about to make a scene in the frozen food aisle.
Now back to the YUKA app! This thing is awesome. You can scan pretty much anything at the grocery store, and it’ll tell you if it’s good, poor, or just plain terrible for you. It even explains why, then suggests a better alternative. But a word of warning: Just because it says something’s “bad” doesn’t mean it’s actually the end of the world.
For example, Cattleman’s Cut beef jerky shows up as “poor” because of the high sodium. Uh, duh—it’s jerky. But then you scan Jack Link’s jerky, and it gets a big fat 0/100 because of all the chemicals, saturated fats, and salt. So, I mainly use the app to dodge additives and chemicals. I don’t stress over things that are naturally high in stuff like salt.
Oh, and here’s a fun twist: Just because one flavor of a product is “good” doesn’t mean they all are. Sometimes a different flavor bumps it down to “Poor” because of whatever magic potion they use to make it taste like ‘Pumpkin Spice Unicorn Dreams’ or whatever.
The worst offenders I’ve found? Soaps, moisturizers, shampoos, and conditioners. It’s like they figure, “Hey, they’re not eating it, so let’s throw in all the chemicals!” But think about it—you’re rubbing that stuff into your skin all day, every day, morning and night. If you use this app for anything, use it for the stuff you slather on yourself.
And here’s an unexpected bonus: It’s a pretty effective diet tool. Half the sweets out there get flagged as “poor” because of all the preservatives and chemicals. If that’s not a buzzkill, I don’t know what is.
But there is hope! One hero emerges: Dave’s “Killer” Bread. Besides having a cool backstory (and, honestly, a pretty awesome name), his bread ranks as one of the best for being chemical-free. And it still lasts a while on the shelf, which feels like some sort of miracle.
So, next time you’re wandering the grocery aisles, think of crazy Captain Ohana Dave (that’s me, by the way) and grab yourself the YUKA app and some of Dave’s “Killer” Bread. Your body will thank you… and so will your taste buds.
